THE BOOK 

The success of the first Fitever! book was based on characters that people can relate to and due to it being the first Aberdeen comedy in a long time. Everyone knows a “Grumphy and Mither”, a wild card like Pat, a firebrand woman like Kylie. The demand for more books means the series is extended to 3, covering the period from Kylie’s engagement to Dod, through to the Stag and Hen parties, and the wedding itself.

A theme running throughout is the question of who will give Kylie away, the family patriarch, Grumphy, or the returning absent father, Pat. Grumphy, determined to do the best for his granddaughter, knows he’ll have to keep a constant eye on Pat, the soldier just out of the army under a cloud. They both do their best for Kylie’s sake, but the tension between them, despite their growing mutual respect and affection, is ever-present. It takes the strong women in the family to keep them both in line.

The series title, Fitever! comes from the Doric pronunciation of “Whatever”. It is Kylie’s catchphrase. In Doric, the WH in English is pronounced F.

The books are written in English, with the characters’ dialogue having proper smatterings of Doric but remaining accessible to the everyday reader. The author is Aberdonian and having returned to Aberdeen after a successful publishing and writing career elsewhere, was amazed no one was capturing the natural comedy of down to earth Aberdonians.

Robin Smith has been in discussions with the BBC with a view to developing a possible television series based on the Fitever! series.

THE CHARACTERS

Grumphy – the big-hearted, tough, but sometimes hapless patriarch of the family and Kylie’s Granda.

Mither – Grumphy’s long-suffering but wise woman who is really the boss.

Dorothy – Mither and Grumphy’s daughter, who’d had Kylie out of wedlock and had never told the father about her.

Pat – Kylie’s Glaswegian ex-solder father who is now belatedly and tentatively brought back into family after being told of Kylie’s existence.

Kylie – Christened “The Whiny Quinie” while young she’s grown into a strong, independent woman about to get married to Dod.

Dod – Not very worldly wise and a Posh-But-Decent rugby playing farmer’s boy from Echt who worships Kylie.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robin Smith is an experienced author who has had over 30 books published under various names and in 5 languages on 4 continents, his children’s books achieving bestseller status in UK, Italy, Brazil, Australia, and Russia. Smith’s children books are now published in the U.S. too.

Having worked with some of the world’s biggest publishers (Bertelsmann, Mondadori, ESMKO) and key Scottish publishers (DC Thomson and Birlinn) over a 30-year period, Smith has a strong sense of what works and what doesn’t. Smith believes books and TV shows work best when people recognise themselves or their friends and family in them. “It’s not vanity – it’s validation. This is true in Scotland (and especially true in Aberdeen) where we don’t get to see ourselves on the telly as often as we’d like. So, when a Still Game comes along, we see ourselves which makes us feel validated, ‘We’re alright after all’. This gives us a strong attachment and loyalty to the show. Its ‘ours’.”

Smith created the Creepers ghost story series under the name Edgar J Hyde. This series sold over 2 million copies in the UK and Ireland from 1997 to 2004. Published by Mondadori in Italy, the series had 3 titles in the top ten and is still in print there 21 years later although its peak was 1999-2004. Over a million copies have been sold in Brazil by Ciranda Cultural and is still in print there after more than 15 years.

Walker also created, in 2002, The Dead Detective Series set in Glasgow, under the name Felix Bogarte. As a publisher of other people’s books, Bob Smith founded Sunday Herald Books in 2006 and published books by Neil MacKay and David Pratt. In 2019, a title published by Smith, The Miami Showband Massacre, written by his friend and survivor of the attack, Stephen Travers, was made into a Netflix TV special as part of Netflix Re-mastered series.

Smith was a consultant on the Film, ’71, starring Jack O’Connell, due to Smith’s work in Northern Ireland over 20 years. The film was initially based on the book Killing for Britain, written by “John Black” and published by Smith.

A life-long Dons supporter, Smith was married at Pittodrie Stadium and spends his time now in Aberdeen, where he was born, writing the Fitever! books, books he first started writing in the 1980s, when he lived in Inverbervie. Everything else was work. But this is his passion.

OUR FAVOURITE EXCERPTS

(EXCERPT FROM FITEVER! THE UPCOMING MARRIAGE OF THE WHINY QUINIE)

The Three K’s

(At The Wedding Fair, Aberdeen)

Kylie spotted her betrothed, Dod, walking around the fair with his hands behind his back,

smiling benignly at everyone, like a vaguely interested spectator rather than a central

participant.

“Well? Have you seen anything on your travels?” she asked.

Dod had forgotten his reconnaissance mission already. His mind tried to snap into action.

What was it I was meant to check out again? he thought to himself. While his mind was mid-

snap, Kylie interrupted.

“Cars? Kilts? Cake?”

“Ah, yes, the three Ks.”

“Fit?”

“Just joking.”

“You’ve been roon Grumpy’s too long. You used to be funny. Talking of your father in law

to be, far is he?”

“Umm …”

“And you’re sticking up for him already? You’re nae even under contract yet.”

“Okay, I’ll give you a clue. He’s at one of the Ks.”

Mither grasped the clue first.

“Cakes.”

Dod went to walk ahead of them as Mither, Kylie and Dorothy started to move towards the

cakes stalls, when Kylie shouted after him.

“Dinna get any daft ideas about running aff to warn him.”

Grumphy stuck out from the crowd, being the only person in the hall with a Dons top on. He

was dutifully trying out every sample of wedding cake going. He must have eaten his way

through the equivalent of two tiers.

Mither groaned.

“George, your stomach!”

Grumphy looked round at them, piece of cake in hand, crumbs all over his Dons top and said,

“Yes, it is mine. What’s your point?”

Mither rolled her eyes. “Well, dinna come crying to me later. You know how cake affects

you.”

“Aye, it maks me happy.”

“Da, just be careful,” Dorothy backing Mither up.

“Why? Are these the hash-filled cakes you once told us you ate at that party in Kinneff?”

“That was mushrooms. And it was Laurencekirk. And it was 30 years ago!”

“Mushrooms? Oh, aye, I forgot. You’re vegetarian.”

Dorothy looked at Mither as if to say, over to you. But Kylie stepped in to the breach.

“Granda, if you shite yourself here, you’re on your own, right?”

Grumphy put the remains of the cake he’d held in his hand back onto the cake platter on the

cake stall. The cake wifie just looked at him. Grumphy looked back and said,

“Aye, nae bad, quine. A bitty mair rum and you’d hae something there.”

Dod tried to break the ice again as they walked off.

“Anyone want a hot dog?”

“Why?” asked Grumphy as they strolled along. “Have you won the lotto? Ken this? I could

work for a wik and still nae afford the prices here. And talk about bad for your stomach?

They’ll kill you, these things. Pure poison.”

“I’m paying.”

“I’ll hae een.”

The ladies had given up on telling Grumphy what was good for him. Dod went off to get

himself and Grumphy a hot dog.

“Granda,” said Kylie, “Here, look at these kilts.”

“Aye, quine, they’re affa bonnie. Fit tartan’s that, loon?”

The kilt manny at the kilt stall took Grumphy’s address of “loon” in good humour.

“That’s the Stewart Tartan, sir.”

“Nice. Div you hae the Aberdeen Football Club tartan?”

“Err, no, I don’t think so, sir. I’m not at all sure that they have a tartan, do they?”

“Getting sniffy, are we?”

“Not at all, sir. I really didn’t know they had one for a football club. And I’m not sure the

heritage would match that of the Stewart Tartan.”

“Is that right, loon? Tell me this, then. Where were the

Stewarts when the Dons were beating Bayern Munich 3-2 at Pittodrie?”

“What?”

“Nor did I see any Stewarts in Gothenburg in ’83.”

“Sir, I …”

“Heritage, that’s what you said wasn’t it? Well, that’s heritage, loon.”

During the conversation Grumphy was wrapping the Stewart Tartan kilt around him, just to

see how it looked. He pulled it tight against himself, then looked at Mither with a panicky

look on his face.

Mither whispered to Dod, “That’s his cake face.”

Grumphy looked around and saw the toilet sign. He moved as quickly as a 70-year-old

wrapped in a kilt could in the direction of the toilet, with the kilt many shouting after him,

“Sir, sir?!”

“Dinna worry, he’ll be back,” said Kylie to the kilt manny.

Then she turned to Dod, who’d just returned with two hotdogs and said,

“Fae noo on, yoos two are banned fae cake duty, ok?”

Dod nodded, and looked apologetically at the kilt manny, who was imagining the horror of

what his kilt sample was about to be used for. Dod hesitated, then offered him the now

superfluous hot-dog.

(EXCERPT FROM FITEVER! THE UPCOMING MARRIAGE OF THE WHINY QUINIE)